Emotional Affair Divorce Consequences

Summary

In Tennessee, an emotional affair or sexual orientation should not affect child custody or alimony unless it directly impacts the ability to care for the children or financial stability. Alimony is determined by factors like financial need and the ability of the other spouse to pay, not marital misconduct. Child custody decisions are based on the best interest of the child. The court may consider the reasonable preference of a child who is 12 years or older in custody matters. Family opinions may influence the court, but they cannot override the childs welfare. A written agreement regarding financial support for education could potentially be enforceable in court.

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I had a strictly emotional affair about a year ago. I told my husband about it, thinking he would want to divorce, but he didn't. We then decided to try to work on our marriage. We have been doing so for almost a year now with no progress. All we do is fight and argue, even in front of our children. Not to mention, I still have very strong feelings that I can't seem to get rid of for the second party that was involved. Can my husband hold an emotional affair against me in divorce when it comes to child custody, alimony, child support, etc?
Did the emotional affair have any direct impact on your ability to care for your children or your financial stability?
It didn't have any impact on my ability to care for my children. My financial stability stayed the same seeing as I'm currently a stay at home mom.
In Tennessee, child custody decisions are based on the best interest of the child. An emotional affair may not directly impact custody unless it affected your ability to care for the children.
What effect does an emotional affair have on alimony? I'm a stay at home mom, so I have no income of my own. I wouldn't be able to make anywhere near as much money as my husband does starting out. I'd likely need to go to school to earn a degree.
Did the emotional affair impact your marital finances in any way? In Tennessee, alimony is determined by factors like financial need and the ability of the other spouse to pay, not marital misconduct.
No
In Tennessee, since the emotional affair didn't impact your marital finances, it's unlikely to affect alimony. Alimony is based on need and the other spouse's ability to pay.
How is it determined how much alimony is given?
In Tennessee, the amount of alimony is determined by factors such as the length of the marriage, each spouse's financial condition, earning capacity, and the standard of living during the marriage.
What happens if the spouse doesn't agree with a major lifestyle change you'd be making?
In Tennessee, if a spouse doesn't agree with a major lifestyle change, it could potentially affect alimony or custody if it's deemed to negatively impact the children or financial stability.
I have discovered that I am gay, and my spouse doesn't believe that is an okay or acceptable way to live. How could that effect child custody and alimony?
In Tennessee, your sexual orientation should not affect child custody or alimony unless it directly impacts your ability to care for your children or financial stability. Can you share if this change has any such impact?
It doesn't impact my ability to care for my children. I still care for and love them the same. Financial stability isn't impacted either seeing as I'm a stay at home mom. Financial stability will only be impacted after divorce.
In Tennessee, your sexual orientation and emotional affair should not affect child custody or alimony. However, the court will consider the best interest of the child and your financial needs.
Everyone in my family and my husband and his family will not agree or be supportive of me being gay.
In Tennessee, the court's primary concern is the best interest of the child. Family opinions may influence the court, but they cannot override the child's welfare. Are your family's views affecting your children's wellbeing?
Not right now, because my family doesn't know. But their views could affect how my children handle the transition. If my family does nothing but bad mouth me, it could make it harder on my children.
What steps are you taking to ensure your children's emotional well-being during this transition? In Tennessee, the court may consider this while deciding on custody.
I haven't told my children and do not intend on telling them right away. It would be a gradual process. But I intend to show them extreme love, care, understanding, and support throughout the transition.
What is your plan for financial stability post-divorce? In Tennessee, alimony is not guaranteed and is determined based on financial need and the other spouse's ability to pay.
I intend on getting a job, but I do not have a degree, so I won't be able to make much money. I have already applied to multiple jobs with no responses yet. I've been applying for a month. I also would like to return to school to get a degree in nursing.
What kind of financial support do you expect from your husband during the time you are studying for your nursing degree?
I'm not sure what to expect or what would be required.
In Tennessee, you may be eligible for rehabilitative alimony to support you while you gain necessary skills or education for employment. Have you discussed this with your husband?
He has mentioned that he would help pay for my schooling if it came down to a divorce. But he's also said he wouldn't. It always depends on his mood on whether he would put up a fight on that or not.
Has your husband provided any written commitment to support your education financially in case of a divorce? In Tennessee, written agreements can be enforceable.
No
It might be beneficial to get a written agreement regarding financial support for your education. This could potentially be enforceable in a Tennessee court.
Okay. I just don't want my kids taken from me because I'm with another woman.
In Tennessee, your sexual orientation should not affect your custody rights. The court's primary concern is the best interest of the child. Have you discussed this with your children?
No they don't know. I think my children are young enough to be open minded in discussion with me about it. But the problem will be with my husband and family telling them otherwise.
How old are your children? In Tennessee, courts may consider the reasonable preference of a child who is 12 years or older in custody matters.
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In Tennessee, children's preferences are considered in custody matters if they are 12 years or older. However, the court's primary focus is always the child's best interest.
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